Monday, December 29, 2008

Off to Mumbai tommorow

It amazing how I have always wanted to be with someone on New Year's and today after about three years I will be with my wife in Mumbai.For the last three years I have ached to be with her, but she preffered to be with her freinds. This time around she wants to be around me, but given the various occurences that i now know off, It would be hard for me to keep a straight face.

I will be on my way tommorow. It is going to be hard. There is so little i expect out of it. I dont want to get all stoned and heady about the whole thing. I was to keep this as professional as it should be. I know it is strange, but there is so little i write on this blog with reference to the things i really know.

But it sure gives me a high that I will be in Mumbai for the New Year's. The city has some kind of energy which will help any mood. There isnt time to sit and sulk in that city. Pub hopping is something i have always been fond off. To take the best of one party and then go to another. I hope they play good music and there is a free flow of booze from every quarter. I hope it does not get boring.

2008 has been extremely bad for me. I am happy to see it go. I hope when the clock ticks and the year changes, things will all change. I am not talking to economy and lay offs here. I hope the New Year is the best year of my life. And to everybody who reads this post( which i suspect wil be very few), Happy New year mates, May the best come in your life too.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Life is perfect rite now

At absolute peace you really are happy. When you can accept everything happening around you and stop thinking about it and do things which make you really happy it brings you joy which is uninterrupted. And mind you, there are a lot of bad things happening around me. There is a lay-off in my company, and i had to heartlessly sack two of the people who depended on me to save them. I will get them placed somewhere else and it will all be fine. I can try to do that. There are people who are treating me all wrong, but that does not matter.

I am doing the best now to keep myself happy. I am throwing parties when the whole world around me seems to be in a gloom. I party hard every nite like it was the last nite i will ever get to go out in my life. I sleep as late as 4 in the morning, everyday. I am off for long drives alone, I smoke weed early in the morning as soon as i wake up and hike the high mid afternoon. The whole day is so freaking clear in fron of my eyes.

I work out in the gym in the evening. I started a profile on facebook ( my first social network, where i went in with my real name and profile) and reconnected with friends and dope heads who i knew from another life. People who are married to thai women, people who were role models at one time who are down and tasting the dust.

Life has never been better, everyday is new and is completely different from every other day. It is pretty reckless when you consider smoke weed sitting in the middle of the pavement of a 6 lane high way, bribing your way out of a DUI.

Hell is close i can see, Something will happen in the next few days for all this to stop. But then who cares. And i found a friend in another broken soul, Somebody i cherish now. She is like an angel. The only person who checks on me, Who asks for me, who finds time for me. May she be blessed.

Merry Christmas !

Thursday, December 4, 2008

If I lost my job due to the recession...

Turbulent times are here to stay and there isnt much anybody can do but pray. So here goes my set of dreams for the period if i were to lose my job. The moment this thought hit me in my head, I was really worried and irritated, but know I guess I am hoping for such a thing to happen.

The freedom is mouth watering. I have a lof of assets which I have accumalated during my good times. Assets which are not property or stocks or bank balance, but things which i have bought which i so hardly use. I will sell all these at whatever it fetches me. I guess liqudity is the problem and i will solve it for the time being by giving away everything which i have managed to buy.

I would not want to lose the next two years of my life to a global phenomenon. So i have decided that i will not waste it by worrying about it. I shall " fuck- it-all" and go out of my current comfort zone and lose touch with everybody who is remotely familiar. I will lose all the bonds which hold me back to do the things i wanted to do all my life.

I would start with North-East. I would like it to get lost in the wilderness and be completely independent. I will spend whatever i have earned in the last 8 years of my life in the next two years of my life. Suddenly I dont think the loneliness is a bad thing. Arent we blessed to be alone in times like this and not needing to worry for the ones around. I would choose the lowest means of transport and accomodation and travel and test humanity and people to take me around these beautiful places.

A friend of mine quipped that being from the middle class inhibits you to dream like this, because we are not used to a life like this. This is more for the classes who have everything to lose, who like a free life. I find the whole line of thought illogical. I guess some of the intial months will be tough, it will be a drastic change from the cushy life i would leave, but since there is no option or drive to bounce back, i think i will settle.

I have a weird feeling that if all this were to happen and i happen to behave exactly the way i have written these 2 years of recession will be the only two years which i have well spent. The thought is mouth watering.

So long...